Normalising Shame

**Normalising Shame**

We’ve all had—or still have—a false self.

Once, it was necessary. Now, it isn’t.

Let’s come out of hiding together.

It may come as a surprise, but for most of us who do not awaken instantaneously, the personality must be involved in transcending itself.

“ To become an entirely authentic self, we must first attempt to centre the *self* into the *Self* by peeling away layer after layer of the personality until we reach the gravitational force that moves us towards our centre—putting us in touch with our basic goodness, our primordial wisdom.

This Individuation Process is the unfolding developmental task that directs every individual towards wholeness, and it requires the whole personality to be involved.”

This is my work nowadays—through somatic therapy:

To embody spirituality *in* the body.

The embodied realisation of the Self *and* self-actualisation.

Wholeness and Oneness.

Because until then, we suffer.

An embodied spirit will forever meet challenge—that’s how we expand.

A self-actualised person will suffer less.

They just will.

An integrated psyche sees the world as parts of themselves.

If there’s conflict *out there*, there is conflict *in here*.

If there is harmony *out there*, there is harmony *in here*.

My work focuses on our faulty worldviews, so we can relinquish unnecessary suffering—for ourselves.

Under the form identity—beneath the body and the psychology, beneath the surface phenomena (which is inherently dissatisfying and entirely identified with thinking)—is your essence.

The “deeper I” beneath thought, as Eckhart Tolle calls it.

A sense of presence.

Consciousness.

In my work, my attention is on your *Being* identity—its principles based on the way of the Dao.

We take off all the labels and just sense *you*, so *you* can sense *you*.

As simple awareness—no past or future—beyond your personality.

Your transcendent self.

You as primordial wisdom.

In this space, the personality identity can be seen in the light of awareness for what it is: a protective sheath—not the real you.

You will always have a personality.

You do not transcend your feelings...

You may not suffer in the same way.

Yet, you will still feel.

And the more awake you are, the more you’ll feel.

How about that for transcending the self?

How many of us bargained on *becoming* spirit, only to find it illuminates everything outside our self-concept—

Everything we’ve kept hidden from ourselves, everything we tried not to be.

Our own shame-bound parts—hidden even from our own awareness.

I want you to know that I’ve walked the path of shame in this unravelling.

I’ve healed much of it by experiencing loving faces in Hakomi, by showing the parts I hide to my peers—who hold me in loving presence.

This has equipped me to hold myself with love when the murkiest, most vulnerable sides of myself appear.

Shame hates attention because it shines a light on it.

Shame does its best to hide—under blame, under inflation, under false humility, under codependency, under narcissism, under truly beautiful people who have no idea of their beauty—under any veneer necessary to survive a harsh world.

That had to be done... *once*.

Yet shame, surprisingly, will tentatively come out and let itself be seen—in great love.

Shame is relational.

It doesn’t happen by itself.

Shame begets shame.

What we were shamed for, we shame in ourselves—by keeping it out of our self-concept and in the shadows.

And the clues are in what we shame others/the world for.

Shame perpetuates itself.

Yet shame *can* heal in relationship—

*If* navigated well and with great love.

We get to rewrite very painful, heartbreaking, gut-wrenching stories of abuse, neglect, betrayal, abandonment, and loss…

And we can do it together.

You are not alone.

My work is relational.

Love *can* and *will* burn everything in its wake—except itself.

Your essence has its own unique expression.

This is the authentic self—who you came here to be.

We all have a delightful, strong, innocent, and whole soul inside—awaiting our attention, so we can live as our authentic, perfectly imperfect selves.

None of us is perfect.

None of us is shameless.

Some of us just carry a lot more shame than is necessary.

This is the real Transcendence:

You love yourself *as* your Self—because as you realise yourself *as* love, your lotus flowers rise from the depths of your inner swamp.

You carry the light in which they can now heal.

And your essence identity blooms.

Our hidden parts hold the keys to our liberation.

Our wounds are the doorways into our freedom.

There is no fixed world *out there*—only your world *in here*.